By Peter Weis@PeterVicey

Americans in the Bundesliga: Nine actors covered in latest 2023/24 installment

The mid-way point of the 2023/24 German Bundesliga campaign accords us an apt opportunity to catch up with the work of the U.S. actors plying their trade in Germany's top footballing. What is only the third installment of our "Americans in the Bundesliga" feature for the current season has quite a bit of ground to cover.

Ten league match-days and two DFB Pokal rounds are analyzed as we take a look at the German press grades and columnist's opinions on eight Bundesliga professionals and the league's American trainer.

This particular subset of games wasn't the kindest to some Americans who garnered very little playing time. There's nevertheless some good news to report on as we check in with Jordan Pefok, Gio Reyna, Kevin Paredes, John Brooks, Lennard Maloney, Joe Scally, the two Aaronson brothers, and Pellegrino Matarazzo.
A new calendar year brings with a great deal of "catch-up-work" for our "Americans in the Bundesliga" feature. Since the last installment of this column appeared nine more Bundesliga match-days closed out 2023. The column, as always, also takes performances in the DFB Pokal into account. Two rounds of Germany's domestic cup also transpired. Using the system devised for this year's version of the column, we're pleased to cover the nine to 11 matches (spanning from 900 to 120 minutes depending if one of the Pokal fixtures went into extra time) all U.S. actors were eligible to contest.

The 2023/24 German Bundesliga officially reached its midway point last week as round 17 brought what Germans refer to as the "Hin-runde" to a close. The half-way mark seems an apt place to round out the latest subset of action. After addressing the rest of the 2023 games, we'll lend coverage to each player's first round back in 2024. This applies whether or they logged minutes or not. Our first report of the new season contained eight graded sections. The second featured ten. This time, we're left with nine. FC Köln attacking prospect Damion Downs didn't get any minutes this time.

That may be about to change. 

Jordan Siebatcheau, Borussia Mönchengladbach (2023)

Matches played = 5/11, Matches started = 4/11

Minutes played = 251/1020, Positions played = LS, CF

Cumulative German Press Grade = 2,75

Author's Cumulative Grade = A

A genuine shame that the D.C. native's injury issues precluded him from taking much part in this subset of matches. Union Berlin's castaway loan out carried nearly every bit of his strong momentum from the previous report with him into October. A whole series of injuries (abductor, thigh, and muscle cluster tear) mean that the former Swiss league star still hasn't gone the full 90 minutes for his current club. Both Jordan and his fellow summer acquisition Tomas Cvancara cannot seem to remain fit.

League watchers consider Gerardo Seaone's BMG an impressive outfit as they seem to find regular success even without these two natural strikers. Jordan continues to succeed, whenever he can actually find his way onto the pitch. Since we last checked in with him, he registered both a goal and an assist in match-day ten's 3-3 draw with Freiburg and bagged a brace in the Pokal victory over Heidenheim. The 27-year-old appears to benefit significantly from working under his former Swiss League trainer Gerardo Seoane.
Jordan's 2024 Debut:

Minutes played = 24/90, Positions played = CF

Cumulative German Press Grade = 2,5

Author's Grade = A

Our subject here scored a late goal in Glafdbach's first match of the new calendar year. He's now netted five tallies and recorded two assists across all competitions. The goals-total equals that of last season, in which he scored four in the league and one in the cup. It's worth noting that three of Jordan's four league goals last year came in the opening seven rounds. This aerially strong striker got off to a strong start for die Eisernen in the 2022/23 campaign before tanking hard in the final two thirds of the season. At least he's finding his stride at a good point here.

In the latest fixture, Seoane threw Jordan on for Alassane Plea as his first substitution in the victory over Stuttgart. The American replaced Plea on a like-for-like in the BMG trainer's 4-1-4-1. A later straight-arrow sub, Nathan Ngoumou in place of Franck Honorat, played a vital role in Jordan's goal. Nogoumou crossed over for Manu Koné at 90+1. Jordan was on hand to dust off the rebound after Koné's effort hit the post. The astutely patrolling striker had a simple tap-in off the rebound into an empty net.

Lineup—Gladbach—67th minute (4-1-4-1)

Gladbach's raft of injuries meant that one rarely saw Jordan working such a straightforward role. Something of this nature may become more commonplace in the second half of the season if this American can remain fit. Cvancara's continued issues with injury currently leaves Jordan ahead of the Czech forward on the depth chart. The fact that Plea too currently struggles with injury can theoretically render him as Seoane's top choice. If Jordan's body cooperates, a massive chance to make his mark falls into his lap.

Giovanni Reyna, Borussia Dortmund

Matches played = 8/11, Matches started = 2/11

Minutes played = 275/990, Positions played = LW, RW, ATTM, AM

Cumulative German Press Grade = 3,15

Author's Cumulative Grade = B+

We quickly arrive at the player everyone is most eager to know about. What will become of the young phenom once christened "The American Dream"? Both BVB trainer Edin Terzic and club sporting director Sebastian Kehl have essentially admitted that the 21-year-old's prospects of remaining with Dortmund for the second half of the season stand slim-to-none. More hard-luck injuries pushed Gio down a depth chart he's long since been sliding down. A move seems in the best interest of all parties involved. Get set for a flurry of stories with no fewer than nine clubs reportedly in the mix.

What we've seen from Reyna since the last interval doesn't necessarily qualify as bad. The youngster did a well above average job off the bench against Bremen in round eight, against Stuttgart in round 11, and against Gladbach in round 12. Most all German press sources accorded him high marks in those instances. Unfortunately, a rather disastrous performance in a start against Frankfurt in round nine weighed his cumulative grade down significantly. A shame as he actually turned in an excellent match in a Pokal start just a few days later.

Some lively work as a sub in the round 15 1-1 draw with Augsburg left us hopeful that this versatile and ultra-talented attacker might yet find his way back into BVB plans. Alas, there's simply too much competition on both flanks as well as the ten and eight positions. Attempts to play Gio deeper did produce some flair, but Reyna just simply isn't suited for work in the six slot. All those (the writer included) who consider themselves Reyna fans want to see him revive his career elsewhere. One even hopes that Dortmund can hammer out a sale or loan with purchase option.
Gio's 2024 Debut:

Minutes played = 2/90, Positions played = N/A

Cumulative German Press Grade = N/A

Author's Grade = N/A

With all the transfer rumors flying around, Bundesliga watchers prepared themselves for the fact that Reyna's use as a late time-killing sub in last Saturday night's 3-0 win over Darmstadt might be the last time we see him donning a Schwarzgelben tricot. Terzic has no reason to even consider selecting him for his next match-day squad. The time has come for Gio to follow in his father's footsteps and (at least) play for a Premiership squad. With Claudio helping his son's new representation team out, this seems a likely outcome.

Kevin Paredes, VfL Wolfsburg (2023)

Matches played = 10/11, Matches started = 3/11

Minutes played = 313/1020, Positions played = LW, LM, LWB, RW

Cumulative German Press Grade = 3,75

Author's Cumulative Grade = B

The Virginian slid in and out of VfL Wolfsburg trainer Niko Kovac's massively over-rotated squad since our last check-up. Paredes started three consecutive matches against FC Augsburg, Werder Bremen, and Borussia Mönchengladbach between match-days nine and eleven. The pinnacle for the 20-year-old came against Bremen in round ten, when he collected his second career Bundesliga goal. A subpar performance in the subsequent round's embarrassing defeat away at Gladbach nevertheless cost him his starting place.

Tactically speaking, Kovac seems to be coaching Paredes to stay on the left more consistently whenever he comes off the bench. Though he still often rotates sides at will, especially as one of Kovac's go-to subs late in matches, it looks as if he's sticking to the left rail more often. This makes perfect sense as - in both the round nine and round 11 starts - this American didn't perform well when specifically slated for the right. He thrived (and scored) when situated on the left in the round 10 draw with Bremen.

Kovac returned Paredes to his usual role as a subbed-on spark-plug after the third start and kept him active in the remaining five league rounds. The former D.C.United attacker logged minutes off the bench in all five fixtures, yet remained on the bench despite the fact that the Pokal loss against Gladbach ran for 120 minutes. The columnist mostly liked what he saw from this prospect and feels comfortable according him a grade higher than the cumulative one received from German press sources.
Paredes' 2024 Debut:

Minutes played = 0/90, Positions played = N/A

Cumulative German Press Grade = N/A

Author's Grade = N/A

Thigh issues kept Paredes on the sidelines during the Bundesliga's re-start. At this juncture, it's unclear as to when he'll be able to return. Whenever he does, a return to the starting XI appears doubtful. Kovac - not to mention the German press - continue to lavish praise on him. Vaclav Cerny (and the returning Jakub Kaminski) nevertheless leave him as a third choice winger on the depth chart of Germany's green company team. No sense in chancing it any more with a player so young. His time as a regular starter doesn't appear to be in the cards just yet.

John Anthony Brooks, TSG 1899 Hoffenheim (2023)

Matches played = 7/10, Matches started = 7/10

Minutes played = 585/900, Positions played = CB 

Cumulative German Press Grade = 4,35

Author's Cumulative Grade = B-

This unabashed Jay Brooks fan has long since obstinately refused to take the issue of the Berliner running into some adversity seriously. In point of fact, Brooks has been forced to contend with at least one benching in all ten of his seasons as a German top flight professional. It happened at in all four seasons at Hertha. VfL Wolfsburg trainer Oliver Glasner benched him multiple times in his two seasons in charge of Germany's green company team. Brooks even had to sit out a few matches during his final two campaigns with Wolfsburg; two of the strongest of his career.

The columnist will insist that Brooks never receives the amount of respect he deserves so long as there remain readers out there foolish enough to debate him on this point. Wolfsburg made an enormous effort not attempting to re-sign hi at the end of the 2021/22 season. Jay caught some flak (and another benching) when he struggled to work his way back up to Bundesliga form for Hoffenheim after his brief Portuguese intermezzo last year. How did virtually all of us know that he would return to top form and help his club clinch safety?

Because he's Jay "f**king" Brooks!

That's why!

A player possessing his surfeit of physical gifts cannot be ignored for long. Few found themselves concerned that a bad defensive lapse that led to him getting yanked early in the round eight loss to Frankfurt would sideline him permanently. TSG trainer Pellegrino Matarazzo even turned to him again the very next week against Stuttgart and in the round two Pokal encounter against Dortmund. When he delivered mediocre performances in the subsequent two deployments, Matarazzo rested him two consecutive league encounters against Leverkusen and Augsburg.

A back-three consisting of Kevin Vogt, Kevin Akpoguma, and Ozan Kabak nevertheless (unsurprisingly) didn't have the right feel to it. Brooks was back in the starting XI against Mainz on match-day 12, then sat back down again whilst the ineffective axis took over again during a matchday 13 loss to Gladbach. Hrumph. It never fails. Top tier trainers invariably turn back to this top caliber player. Jay started the final three fixtures of the calendar year. He furnished very slid work against Bochum and Leipzig before wilting in the final round against Darmstadt.

How should one view Brooks' prospects headed into the second half of the current campaign? Taking into consideration that the Sinsheimers literally decided to sell their strongest and most reliable defender after him, one assumes a vote of full confidence. Jay, Akpoguma, and Kabak shall comprise Matarazzo's back-three. Another mental error may lead to another short-term benching. Pay it no mind. Attila Szalai and Stanley Nsoki won't displace this American.
Brooks' 2024 Debut:

Minutes played = 0/90, Positions played = N/A

Cumulative German Press Grade = N/A

Author's Grade = N/A

Much to the chagrin of league-watchers across the Bundesrepublik, Matarazzo left Brooks on the bench in last Friday night's loss against Bayern. Nsoki, Florian Grillitsch, and Ozan Kabak formed the back-three in a questionable set of tactics that undeniably hindered Sinsheimer chances against the German giants. The columnist maintains that Jay shall return soon and take full advantage of his next opportunity. For whatever reason, whosoever coaches the Berliner must repeatedly learn the hard way that this American remains the best option.

Lennard Maloney, 1. FC Heidenheim (2023)

Matches played = 10/10, Matches started = 10/10

Minutes played = 761/900, Positions played = CM, AM, ADM, CB

Cumulative German Press Grade = 4,0 

Author's Cumulative Grade = C+

The newly-capped USMNT international continues to serve as FCH trainer Frank Schmidt's flexible linchpin in midfield, starting all nine league fixtures along with the second round domestic cup match. Maloney experienced a pronounced form dip between the 11th and 15th rounds of league action, almost certainly related to some torn ankle ligaments in the round 13 loss against Leipzig. The Berlin-native notched his first assist of the campaign (a header-on off a Jan-Niklas Beste corner) in the losing effort.

Rushed back the next week against Darmstadt, Maloney unfortunately ended up scoring an own-goal in his side's win over the Lilies on match-day 14. Looking significantly less gimpy, he improved the next week against Mainz before finishing the calendar year strong against Freiburg. Prior to the onset of his dip during the match-day 11 loss against Bayern, our subject here was actually still humming along rather nicely. He initially carried his fine form from the October break over.

Positionally speaking, there isn't much new to report upon other than the assignments we've already drawn up in both editions of this year's column. Maloney still covers an absurd amount of distance and currently sits second in the league charts. Leverkusen's Granit Xhaka only overtook him on the calendar year's penultimate match-day. This American still leads third-and-fourth placed occupants Alejandro Grimaldo and Julian Weigl by signifanct margins.

Schmidt mostly uses him as a solo six. Some performances as a holder on his own axis have been mixed. The opening half of the round two Pokal loss against Gladbach proved so poor that Schmidt actually opted to yank him at the half. By the time the end of the year rolled around, however, the 24-year-old showed no lingering signs of the confidence issues associated with his decline. We'll want to briefly have a look at his deployment as a pivoting center back against Leipzig.

Lineup—Heidenheim—Match 13 (3-4-3)

A great deal of this was weird. From Tim Kleindient keeping a horizontal winger axis with Jan Niklas-Beste to Omar Haktab Traoré and Jonas Föhrenbach working as advanced wingbacks on their unnatural sides. Jan Schöppner operated as deep as he had all season. Ostensibly, Schmidt wanted to confuse Marco Rose's constellation as much as possible. Leipzig ended up dominating the match by virtue of the fact that Schmidt incorrectly assumed that Rose would opt for his occasionally utilized 3-4-3.

Pocketed on an inverted pivot, Maloney logged fewer kms than in just about any match this season. One usually witnesses him rack up closer to 10 km total, even when his deployment is shortened by a 70+ substitution. Limited to just 18 passes, one concludes that placing him in central defense constitutes something of a waste. Duel rates against the RB front two of Yussef Poulsen and Loïs Openda remained decent enough. That's wholly irrelevant, of course, as both Leipzig strikers scored.

Hopefully we've seen the last of this experiment.
Maloney's 2024 Debut:

Minutes played = 90/90, Positions played = CM, AM

Cumulative German Press Grade = 3,5

Author's Grade = C

Some discussion of the latest set of FCH tactics can be found in the latest edition of the tactics column. Maloney turned in a largely average day despite the fact that his second positional assignment enabled him to rack up nearly 13 kms of distance covered. He hovered just above 25 percent in his ground duels against a very well-drilled Kölner side in midfield. His passing rate fell below 75 percent. A high touch count (58) and 26 sprints prevented him from falling down towards lower mark levels.

The Bundesliga's "other Berliner" (after Jay Brooks) shall deliver better performances over the course of this season. Now that most of us fully expect Heidenheim to stay up. it stands to reason that we can all look forward to another year of watching him in the top-flight. Few doubted Maloney's skill set, even way back when his academy club Union Berlin couldn't find a loan taker for him in either the second or third division. Here we have a case of hard work and determination exemplified.

Joe Scally, Borussia Mönchengladbach

Matches played = 11/11, Matches started = 10/11

Minutes played = 955/1020, Positions played = RB, RWB, CB

Cumulative German Press Grade = 4,15

Author's Cumulative Grade = C-

The CFG New Yorker immediately reclaimed his starting place with a strong performance off the bench in the first round following our most recent report. Scally then proceeded to start three consecutive matches at right back, going the full 90 minutes in each case. As a more deep-seated central defender in a back-three bolt-locked by Julian Weigl in the round 11 encounter against Wolfsburg, the Long Island native collected an assist on Alassane Plea's 4-0 during the Friday night rout that left BMG trainer Gerardo Seoane bristling with pride. Scally was also strong in the first Pokal win.

Regrettably, our subject here has been sliding back ever since. The subsequent five league performances featured far too many errors. That, combined with weak offensive impetus up the flanks, led to Scally receiving well below average marks in all major German press sources. He remained largely anonymous in Gladbach's second Pokal win. His name hasn't graced the score-sheet since the big home win in early November. Could a pattern be repeating itself? Now that Stefan Lainer threatens to become an option again, one fears for Scally's prospects.

The very notion of Scally sliding out of the XI for the third consecutive year under a third different trainer during the second half of the season seems genuinely unreal. How on earth does this keep happening? While the 21-year-old certainly turns in an absolute shrieker of a match on occasion, he definitely isn't the sort of player who routinely looks unqualified for this level. The author will - as he did with Adi Hütter and Daniel Farke - lay some of the blame on the coach. A natural fullback such as Scally shouldn't be playing in a flat back-three. Period.
Scally's 2024 Debut:

Minutes played = 90/90, Positions played = RB

Cumulative German Press Grade = 3,75

Author's Grade = B+

Back on the right rail against Stuttgart this past weekend, Scally received mixed grades in the German press. Opinions amongst us Bundesliga fanatics were similarly divided. Most of those tuning into the surprisingly dominant win for the Fohlenelf appreciated the vigor with which Scally and the rest of the team stormed out of the gate. The low grades in some of the papers likely reflect the fact that the CFG New Yorker played less of a role after Seoane's men took their foot off the gas pedal. He garnered only 45 total touches.

This particular observer nevertheless thought that Scally looked sharp and eager during a total 26 sprints up the right flank. Playing like a man knowing full well that his starting role lay under pressure, the Long Island native furnished a worthy performance. Whether or not it remains enough to fend off Lainer remains to be seen. The columnist can only offer his opinion. Scally should maintain his role as the starting right back. Defensive presence wasn't always the most alert, but some slack is in order after the long layoff.

Brenden Aaronson, 1. FC Union Berlin

Matches played = 7/10, Matches started = 1/10

Minutes played = 147/900, Positions played = ATTM

Cumulative German Press Grade = 4,85

Author's Cumulative Grade = C-

There's a light dusting of good news regarding the "Medford Messi". Even if he concluded the calendar year horribly, the elder Aaronson brother did start in the final round of the "Hin-runde". Matters truly appeared bleak for a while. After going unused off the bench in Union's round eight loss to Stuttgart, Urs Fischer turned to him for a start against Werder Bremen in round nine. Brenden lasted all of an hour in Fischer's desperate attempt to resuscitate some semblance of his of his old 3-5-2 system.

Lineup—Union Berlin—Match Nine (3-5-2)

So much of Union's famous "automatisms" tanked alongside this team's confidence during the autumn's unprecedented losing streak. There can be such as thing as having too much regularity. Aaronson proved no exception to the rule. Like the rest of his team, he neither wanted the ball nor appeared to have any idea what to do with it when he got it. Virtually all of his passes went backward. Bremen encountered no problems attempting to break up his dribbles. He lost three quarters of his duels on the ground and both challenges in the air.

It came as no surprise to see Brenden not earn another start under the Fischer regime. Union's former Swiss trainer used him as a late defensive sub the next week in the Frankrfurt defeat and something of an afterthought in the rout against Leverkusen that would end up being his final match in charge. The interim FCU coaching regime didn't select him at all for the round 12 encounter against Augsburg. Nenad Bjelica liked him well enough to utilize Brenden as a sub in his first four matches in charges. Most German press sources didn't see enough to assign grades.
Brenden's 2024 Debut:

Minutes played = 69/90, Positions played = CM

Cumulative German Press Grade = 4,5

Author's Grade = D+

In just his fourth start (and second since the infamous sending off on double yellows on match-day-two), Brenden finally got the chance to demonstrate for Bjelica his abilities in the starting blocks. Union's new gaffer - despite the winter break - still works with the embers of Fischer's system. A related, yet specifically more defensive-minded 3-5-2, held Freiburg to a 0-0 draw last weekend. The German press understandably doled out lousy grades for most of the FCU XI. There wasn't much question who the better team was.

Lineup—Union Berlin—Match 17 (3-5-2)

....or, for that matter, who the much more boring one was. Brenden received the lowest marks of all the outfielders behind the hopelessly stranded strikers. In the 23-year-old's defense, how exactly was he supposed to get the ball upfield in this set up? It counted as brave enough that he went on one long carry. Some encouraging stats include the fact that he won 67 percent of his direct duels and twice emerged victorious in the air. No shortage of sprints (26) from the American and even a ranged effort before Andras Schäfer came on in relief.

Schäfer's return likely portends the end of Aaronson's starting prospects, but no one can truly say for sure. We would have all liked to find out this Friday night. The postponement of Mainz-Union nevertheless doesn't mean that we'll have to wait another week. Union still have the make-up fixture against Bayern to contest this coming Wednesday. The season's other snowfall-deferred match might accord us some answers, though perhaps not exactly the answers Union enthusiasts were hoping for.

Paxten Aaronson, Eintracht Frankfurt

Matches played = 4/11, Matches started = 1/11

Minutes played = 68/990, Positions played = ATTM,RW

Cumulative German Press Grade = 4,75

Author's Cumulative Grade = C-

If you happened to blink, you likely missed out on the fact that the younger of the "Medford Brothers" earned a start in the league. It simply hasn't come together for the 20-year-old ever since an ill-timed illness caused him to miss out on both the Pokal opener and the league's opening match-day. A talented youngster seemingly destined for the starting XI under previous trainer Oliver Glasner now rests firmly on the back-burner in Dino Toppmöller's coaching regime. Perhaps it's for the best given his age.

Paxten has remained unused off the bench in five league and one Pokal fixture. On two occasions, he's been left off the match-day bench squad entirely. That isn't to say that Toppmöller isn't introducing him when he can. The younger Philadelphia Union academy man needed only eight minutes off the bench to collect an assist in the round two Pokal victory against Viktoria Köln. He's also come off the bench five times in the Conference League group fixtures. As always, the European fixtures are not scored in this column.

Paxten's lone league start of the campaign did find some coverage in the round 13 tactical bulletin. The decision to place this American high up in a 3-4-3 was generally regarded as a big mistake on Toppmöller's behalf. Our subject here received failing marks in some German press sources after being yanked at the half. Fares Chaibi replaced Paxten following two badly mis-screwed efforts, a pair of turnovers, a wayward dribble, and a rough self-trip up that left him on the deck. Not good. He hasn't logged a single minute of league action since.
Paxten's 2024 Debut:

Minutes played = 0/90, Positions played = N/A

Cumulative German Press Grade = N/A

Author's Grade = N/A

It does speak to this player's current status under Toppmöller that he wasn't considered for even some relief minutes despite the fact that the SGE presently have three starters out at the Africa Cup of Nations. Eintracht's trainer preferred to throw two new arrivals in for a cold start. Paxten made the bench squad, yet kept his place in the dugout even after the likes of Donny van de Beek and Sasa Kalajdzic had to be subbed off. Toppmöller turned to Aurelio Buta, Jessic Ngankam, the recently loaned out Kristijan Jakic, total piece of dead-weight Jens-Petter Hauge before Paxten. Yikes!

Can't they loan this poor kid out?

Pellegrino Matarazzo, TSG 1899 Hoffenheim (Trainer)

Matches = 10, Results = L, W, L, L, D, D, L, W, L, D

Author's Cumulative Grade = D+

Grading American trainers has been a practice in this column since Pellegrino Matarazzo became the first such U.S. actor to break this barrier after Stuttgart's promotion back to the top flight ahead of the 2020/21 season. Running any sort of column for four-and-a-half seasons presents one with problems. Discussing Matarazzo for three-plus-years may count as one of the biggest. At this juncture, so much time has been spent discussing the New Jersey native's avant-garde style (both in print and on video) that the author isn't sure what more can be said at this point.

Did Matarazzo's brilliance help save this team from relegation last year? Unquestionably. Does Matarazzo deserve credit for occasionally leaving us his tactics-heads prepared to erect a shrine to his brilliance during his time in charge of the Swabians? Absolutely! Is the string of results listed above something that can be considered acceptable given the talent level on Hoffenheim's roster? Eh. The persistent issue of squad balance (something Alexander Rosen appears to be working on) gives this American some leeway still. Not very much, to be honest.

Matarazzo's ideas presently fall flat.
Matarazzo's 2024 Debut:

Result = L

Author's Grade = D-

The latest tactics column - not to mention the latest pod - cover the latest tactical conflagration rather thoroughly. Not everything went wrong. A little more composure from striker Maximilian Beier on one particular finish might have led to things going in a different direction. It's also quite a bit to expect to beat the German record champions on a night during which every player wanted to be the one to kick off the Franz Beckenbauer Schlager Songs with a home goal. The Sinsheimers remain poorly put together. Ridiculously so in some areas.

Thanks so much for reading! You can catch the release of all Peter's columns (and occasionally catch him goofing off) on whatever the hell they're calling twitter these days @PeterVicey.

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